Lari Keinginan, Lari : Deklarasi Perang Ke Atas Kamera Manual + Automatik

Posted Date: : Jun 14, 2004 3:24 AM

jun 09, 04 Cantik? Heh! At a time it's superficially nuthin'. My heart is broke. And I got nuthin'. Can you see it? jun 13, 04 Am I lost thinking and my guidance? And people need to greet me out there to save me for my own desperation? Dan adakah ini sort of my ... blister-blither-weirdeness yang buat keluar perkara-perkara yang sukar diterjemahkan oleh orang lain selain dari diri aku sendiri? If you really know who I am and my people, you just need to say "rilek ah", think about nothing at all, and calm (not me but yourself) down. When Munk, Nasir, Azu, Himang, Pali start their word upon me they know what will come out from my hand, and it's (really) normal than what outsider think it as "weird" (because you guys need to understand that, the way my people treat me is different than the way you guys treat me). How am I suppose to smile when you never make me smile at all? (But I did smile at the way you guys think that I'm weird and need to 'examine and repair' me. That's so funny!) Oh, yeah! I did lost my inspiration. Lots of my inspirations. Satu ni, di Kuala Terengganu, mereka adalah inspirasi dan saya perlukan restu mereka, tetapi sehingga kini, saya belum ketemu mereka, kerana 'kenyataan mengigit'. Ia menimbulkan kebimbangan kepada saya. Kegelisahan saya ketika sedang berkerja. Worry and anxious, those 2 thing perlahan-lahan membunuh saya, and you think I am weird for what I've become? INHALE! I need to get away lalu saya mengikut 'desire' saya, ia juga membunuh saya. Run desire, run! At this point I think about inspiration yang kedua ni. Month of 2, I dissapoint her seawal janji pertama. I think ("jangan serius sangat tentang apa yang ko pikir ni!" ) she deny me for what I did. Everywhere,.. she deny me. Lama juga. But serius shit, seawal kami kenal we never feel weird at each other at all. Recently she being good with me. So I said, "denial is hell". So what's wrong with you guys? Yang ke-3 ni, my band friends. I love my band. We the band just like brother. Never we feel weird. Yang aku rasa weird pulak aku boleh rilekkan diorang atas apa yang berlaku kepada kami, a collective. Kenapa aku boleh rilek sedang aku jauh dari diorang? Optimis sungguh. Sebab aku deicde untuk beralih, bukan mereka, dan aku perlu tanggung atas apa yang berlaku. My good-close friends out there, yang memahami. Mereka juga inspirasi, you move me. The good thing is in a week saya akan berjumpa dengan inspirasi saya yang pertama itu. Insya Allah. Exhale....